In my Life, I’m going to Carolina…Moving for a Boy. A Series. Part 3.

first mission trip as a couple

If you asked us how BF and I met, we would each have different stories. Both stories are funny, but what matters is that almost a year ago today, we decided we wanted to be together. A year later, we’ve decided we don’t want to be apart.

That doesn’t mean a proposal or marriage or living together (things we agree we’re not ready for), it means that when my boyfriend moves to North Carolina at the end of this summer, I have decided I’m going with him.

!!!!!!!

I’m excited. I’m scared. I’m SO scared. But. I’m ready for a change. I feel like if I drive down the same road to work, pick the same food at the same Safeway, or park in the same spot and sit in the same seat at the same church service just ONE MORE TIME….I will go bananas.

I want to go to there.

I want out. Out out out. I want to get rid of everything that I own except what fits in a car and drive across the country. I want to roll down the windows and stop only when I need to sleep or pee or buy some Cheetos. Or when I see a sign for something I can’t pass up, like “World’s Largest Bottle of Ketchup.”

I want to see small towns and smaller towns and then live in one. I want the smell of corn fields and wheat fields and the complete lack of mountains to fill my senses and numb my senses and propel me into the unknown.

I’ve quit the best grown up job I’ve ever had, a job I love, to pursue something else, or nothing at all. I have no plan for North Carolina except to be near someone I can’t imagine being without. I might teach, but what I really want is to pursue writing and getting a book published, come hell or high water. Because writing makes me happy and I want to run full force towards it.

riddle me an adventure…

And I want to know a culture outside of California. I want to know what it feels like when the seasons change. And to hear a different accent, and different perspectives, and to make an adventure out of everything that has become so mundane to me – the restaurants, drugstores, bars, live music, fastest way to get to Target, where an ATM is, the parks, the libraries, the movie theater…

Having been here all my life, I feel like I explore less and less as time goes by. We go hiking somewhere new every Saturday, and I love a good road trip, but my life is one big routine of things I’ve been doing since I was a little girl. Same people, same places, same feeling.

I want adventure in the great wide somewhere. I want it more than I can stand. :)

And so we will go. Well, he will go, and almost as crazy (for independent, strong-willed, stubborn, “I do what I want!” me) as moving across the country is, is the fact that I’m doing it to follow a boy. Which makes it only more perfect because it’s even more nuts for the likes of me. So. Here we go! Stay tuned. :)

My Rules for Life.

:)

Rule number 1: When a friend gets engaged, congratulate them, buy yourself flowers and wine. Salute to love.

Rule number 2: Pick a color that is your favorite color. It’s kind of like your spirit animal. Mine is yellow. Always wear it somehow.

Rule number 3: Periodically clean out your closets and dressers and drawers. If you’re anything like me, you’re quite forgetful, and cleaning things out is your own personal Christmas. Items you’ve completely forgotten about are waiting to surprise you. “Look at this sweater! This is adorable!” “I’ve been needing a new box of crayons! YES!” Donate anything you haven’t used in a year. Throw out things per their expiration date. Fold clothes. Make sure your shoes all have a mate.

Rule number 4: Make your bed every day you can. Everything looks better when your bed is made.

still sad i don’t really know how to play this….

Rule number 5: Always clean your house before going on vacation. That was my mom’s rule and it’s just so nice to come home to a clean house.

Rule number 6: Learn an instrument. Preferably something portable.

Rule number 7: Play team sports.

Rule number 8: When I was in high school, I really wanted tattoos all the time. Lots of different ones. But when I turned 18, in a rare flash of brilliance, I made a promise to myself that if I really wanted a tattoo, I had to choose a design and a location and want it for exactly one year before I would allow myself to get one. I never went through with it. Same with piercings. My body is a beautiful ink-free canvas, and my belly button piercing is where my magic comes from.

Rule number 9: Manners matter. Please thank you hold open doors you’re welcome eye contact nice to meet you. Tip. Use the information on a nametag. Never meet a stranger. Leave no trace in nature. Everything better than how you found it.

Rule number 10: Have several theme songs memorized for your life.

aw, the old days at the cafe.

Rule number 11: Work a retail job, restaurant job, and something with kids at least once in your life.

Rule number 12: Read real books made of paper that smell like old and have dog-earred pages and wake up with them on the pillow next to you, your fingers still clutching the last paragraph you read.

Rule number 13: Take time to remember. Pictures on your phone, a journal, a blog, even something like twitter or Facebook. Document the things that matter. (Your new eyeshadow, what you made for dinner, your cat, the sunset…whatever matters to you.)

Rule number 14: Travel.

Rule number 15: Live with roommates.

Rule number 16: Always give something to charity.

Rule number 17: Learn a foreign language.

Rule number 18: Know how to start a fire.

Rule number 19: Spend time in nature every week.

Rule number 20: Run.

Rule number 21: Wine.

Rule number 22:  Do things you know will make your mom happy even if they annoy you. :)

Rule number 23: Write thank-you notes.

my homemade bucha!!!

Rule number 24: Make something by hand you can call your own. Be it a garden, writing music, poetry, brewing beer or kombucha, a talent with underwater basket-weaving. Produce something.

Rule number 25: Know how to cook a full breakfast and dinner and do your own laundry before you’re 18.

Rule number 26:  Don’t live together before you’re married. For me and my boyfriend, I’m excited to look forward to this complete unknown together, something I can promise I’ve never done with any other man, and we can build our lives together without any preconceived notions of how it will go, what will and won’t work. Such a adventure to look forward to.

Rule number 27: Talk to old people. Ask for stories.

Rule number 28: Hug. High five. Show physical affection. Smile. Laugh. Express yourself.

Rule number 29: It doesn’t matter how much it costs as long as you’re having fun. :)

Related articles

• Being A Tattooed & Pierced Mom In A Suburban Neighborhood (therockabillybutterfly.wordpress.com)
• Are Belly Button Rings Making a Comeback? (fashionista.com)
• A New Generation of Terrible Parents. (mga918.wordpress.com)
• Tummy Jewels (shesjustpleasantlyplump.com)
• Maybe Someday (theurbancanvas.wordpress.com)
• The 6 Rules You Must know BEFORE buying a Man any Gift (nafriniselect.com)
• What and Why (memyselfandtherules.wordpress.com)
• Live has to be lived thats’s all there is to it. (jglaudin.wordpress.com)
• Do You Have a Favorite Color? (virginialinda.wordpress.com)
• Mission CUAO (rulescoach.wordpress.com)

Teacher Diaries: Miss W is Missing!

Easily the most fun I’ve had this year as a teacher was in looking over this “assignment” I created when I had a sub come in. I asked the students to create “Missing” posters for me, and with a description, where I could be found, and what to do when found. They also drew some very unflattering or mysterious pictures. I almost wet my pants.

Just when you think your students are never listening to you and are completely oblivious, they nail your personality right on the head.

Here are some of my favorites.

Description:

• Hyper
• likes to wear Giants stuff
• weird but cool
• a woman with hair that looks like a teacher
• beautiful, smart, red-brown hair, tannish skin, wears glasses.
• She wears big, black glasses and weird clothes.
• A slim, (this kid knows how to get an A!) agile woman who carries bags of money with her.
• Wears dresses and cowboys boots on the daily.

Last Seen:

• Throwing pens at students.  (Disclaimer: I do this a lot…but never with intention to injure!)
• Correcting papers and eating goldfish crackers.
• In Starbucks getting a pumpkin spice latte.
• Directing kids in carline and begging them to go home.
• At a Giants game. (this came up a lot)
• Trying to find sparkly unicorns for our class.
• Eating ice cream in the morning.
• Yesterday.

Most Likely to Be Found:

• Eating Mac and Cheese at an art museum.
• At AT&T park.
• In Hawaii.
• At a Giants game. May be undercover. Do not approach.
• Faking a Southern accent.
• Drinking a latte.
• Playing volleyball at the Giants game.
• Blessing babies.
• Stealing goldfish crackers from children.
• She is most likely to be found at the Giants game. She might be at the store buying Expo pens to throw at students. If not there, go to Starbucks to search. She is in the universe.

If located, please:

• Return to Brian Wilson.
• Return to AT&T park.
• No reward, sorry.
• Stand 10 feet away from her and leave her there.
• Shoot upon sight.
• Call her mom and her boyfriend.
• Call Armed Forces at 911.
• Give her jelly beans, but she may throw a pen at you if disturbed.
• Call the school office.

A Time Capsule of the Year

I’ve kept a diary most of my life, the last few year’s have been a public one on this blog and others. I don’t know if it’s the new Pinterest habit that’s gotten me thinking so craftily, but I thought as it was just my 29th birthday, it would be a cool new thing to try and encapsulate the 28th year of my life with some questions I make myself answer.

Since I move around so much and my life changes faster than I can blog about, I wanted to create a format to look back specifically at my 28th year, and remember exactly where my life compass was at this moment. Here goes.

Where are you living? In a three-bedroom funfest in Concord, CA, with my roomies Jill (24, special ed high school teacher) and R2 (also named “Rachel,” 29, preschool teacher). I love my backyard with my firepit and string lights and tiny garden.

I get to answer Qs like this all day at my job.

Where do you work? A private Christian classical academy. I teach junior high Latin, Spanish, coach volleyball, and created an afterschool drama program here.  It’s my fourth year. I mostly love it. Could do without crazy parents and so many meetings and emails.

What did you last eat? A parent brought me Caesar salad, cheetos, a diet coke, and beautiful cupcakes for my birthday.

What shoes are you wearing? Very comfortable orthopedic shoes that are white sandals and look like old lady feet.

When did you last cry? Sunday, on my birthday, because I was slightly miserable about getting old.

What was the last movie you watched? Umm….”How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” against my will. By choice, “Zero Dark Thirty,” which was epic.

 Favorite TV show of the moment? Parks and Recreation. Amazing.

Favorite toy of the moment? My Polar HRM. Love that thing.

When did you last laugh really hard? When I yelled at a student for being late and he answered “Mom! I’m sorry!”

What book are you reading right now? Anne of the Island.

What are you most looking forward to right now? The school year ending and going to Wyoming with my family and boyfriend.

What’s your favorite song right now? “Wagon Wheel.”

me and gma susi – Christmas 1986

What’s different about your life from last year? Easily the biggest change is that my uncle and my grandma died. That has changed our family a lot. In happy news, I’ve been dating someone for about ten months…that’s a pretty great thing. I was in a freaky plane incident so now I’m more scared of things than I ever have been. I am not going on my mission trip this summer…changed churches…moving out of my house in June and not sure what my plans are…and gained back all the weight I had lost! Ha! Also I finished my credential program and have been coaching way too much volleyball.

What’s the same about your life last year that you’re happy about? Going to a TON of Giants games. I still love chicken nuggets. I still live nowhere near my best friends. (Denver is the closest. Followed by Chicago, NYC, Brazil, Israel. Le sigh.)

What are the last five things you googled? “breakfast quinoa,” “music nights in concord,” “asparagus pee,” “romanichal gypsys in west virginia,” “best jobs for teachers to transition to.”

When and what was your last vacation? Well, I went to Reno for a volleyball tournament and to Santa Cruz for Science Camp with my junior highers….came home with poison oak, so I’m a little bitter. Last true vacation….Oh when my Spring Break trip to Georgia/Tennessee failed, my boyfriend and I went up to Donner Lake and checked out of all technology for four days. I read over 800 pages and ate so much food and started happy hour at noon everyday and walked a lot. It was amazing. We also watched movies on VHS and slept ten hours a night. I want to go back!

What are you proud of this year? Finishing my teaching credential….being financially stable.

What’s your current favorite joke? What’s the different between Twitter and “The Hobbit?”

Answer: You’re only allowed 140 characters on Twitter.

A Slideshow of the 28th Year:

Keep close to Nature’s heart… and break clear away, once in awhile, and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods. Wash your spirit clean. John Muir

bday dinner date with boyfriend

valentines day surprise

jill gets married!

best friend visits :)

“Instagram my life! #cousins #margaritas #girlsnight #hashtageverything #!!!!!

leading worship and getting paid! hallelujah!

on our trip to palm springs two weeks ago

me and the Gma.

my halloween

i love my boys

dance party!

best friends and the Giants!

my tinkly backyard

hot august nights with the roomies

loving on babies in mexico for the last time.

everyone’s getting married!

winning volleyball!!!

We’re awesome.

sisters :)

VS Panties War: Dear Parents – What?!?

This will tick people off. But. As anti-corporation, cynical, Christian and “good” as I can be, as someone who works with youth of all ages, I’ve got to say something.

No doubt by now you’ve seen something about the backlash Victoria’s Secret is experiencing after releasing a Spring campaign called “Bright Young Things.” It appears to be aimed at high school aged girls, based on the bright colors, sayings, and very young and under-developed looking models that are sporting them in ads.

I actually received the catalogue in the mail a few days ago, and after a few minutes of mindless browsing, threw it away because I thought “I’m getting too old/chubby/broke for this.” Little did I know the rest of the nation thought that Victoria’s Secret was getting too young.

Parents are outraged because they feel the campaign and it’s “clothing” are sexualizing their children at a young age, especially since Justin Bieber played at the televised Victoria’s Secret fashion show.

“They’re making my daughters want to wear thongs that say “Call Me!” on them! In bright pink! I can’t believe it!”

I agree that the campaign pictures do feature girls who, in my 28-year-old opinion, look pretty young.

However…I must ask…Parents – WHAT?!?

• These ads and fashion shows appear on TV. Those boxes have an off button. You can control what your kids watch.
• These ads appear in their catalogue that you can elect to not have delivered to your house.
• These ads appear in your local mall you can choose to not drop your kids off at unsupervised.
• The ads appear on the internet that you can, as the parent and authority in your household, exercise your right to control the settings and viewing privileges of the young eyes and minds in your domain.
• The internet can also be accessed through the iPads and iPhones and all kinds of expensive things you buy for your children thinking that they need them like they need air or food.
• These articles of “clothing” are to be bought with money. Seeing as your children can’t (legally) work until the age of 16 in order to earn the money to purchase said items, you can only be worried they will purchase them if you supply the money for clothes and don’t bother to check to see what was purchased.

I’m not sure when or why it happened, but in the last few years, society told parents they should stop being authority figures and role models in their kids’ lives, and start being their best friend who gave them money for things and didn’t ask questions.

As an educator, I’m tired of seeing kids like this who are rude to their parents – I can tell, because they’re rude to me. Kids who don’t know what “please” or “thank you” mean, or who know how to work hard for something or solve any sort of problem, because they’re so used to being handed the solution by their parents.

The point of life is not to bring children into this world to boss you around. It is to exist in a capacity that is exciting, fun, inspirational, and meaningful. It’s to work hard for things and take pleasure in the earning of them. And I think that is an underlying issue in this whole debate that VS is missing here, and parents, unknowingly, are missing as well:

We need to stop giving our kids iPhones, laptops, thong underwear, twenty dollars on the weekend just for breathing, and letting them play three sports at once, because in doing so, we take away all the fun of growing older.

What is there to look forward to, if you already have an ipod, iPhone, ipad, PS3, your own room, lingerie, BC options, permission to party, and laptop by age 13? What did you do to earn those things? Nothing. You did nothing. So to get your next thrill (and what is that going to be?), what are you going to challenge yourself to do?

Nothing.

If we allow our children to miss family functions to be with friends, buy short shorts, walk in high heels, wear makeup, text their friends at school, stay up late, watch bad movies, have sex (“but they’re on birth control!”), drink at home (“but it’s okay, because I’m here with them supervising!”) all at early ages… what is left?

Where is the fun in growing older if you’re already doing “grown up” things at such a young age?

To say nothing of the fact that your children are not old enough to make those kinds of decisions in regards to sexuality, style, what is or isn’t appropriate content, think about consequences, etc. Guess what? Cell phones/laptops/iPads don’t come with a maturity chip. Your kids are sexting and you don’t even know it. And the kicker? They may be dumb enough to send such a picture, but they’re smart enough to erase it so you can’t find it. Unless…you do something about it.

Parents – I speak for your children, although they do not know it. The message is this - Step it up. Value our childhood and our innocence. Send us outside to play before you hand us the remote control. Invite playdates before texting. Stagger our introduction into adolescence and then adulthood, so that we may truly experience the wonder and mystery of each phase. Allow us to make mistakes – to learn from them, too.

Parents, you made these children. Now teach them, guide them, be good role models, use wisdom, instill respect in them, teach them manners. If you have done your job, when something like VS panties comes waving in the face of your child, they will know what to do.

Have the guts it takes to bring a life into this world and do it right. If you do, the world will thank you. Your child will thank you. And really, what more do you need?

Related articles

• Victoria’s Secret Marketing to Teens (digitaldustjacket.wordpress.com)
• Father Writes Letter To Victoria’s Secret Explaining Why He Doesn’t Want His Daughter To Shop There (businessinsider.com)
• Victoria’s Secret’s New Lingerie Line Has Parents Outraged (dfw.cbslocal.com)
• Why I’m Okay with the Victoria’s Secret PINK Spring Break Campaign (lehoneychild.wordpress.com)
• Victoria’s Secret sparks backlash from parents over ‘targeting teens’ with ‘Bright Young Things’ slogan (dailymail.co.uk)
• Victoria’s Secret Panties Causes a Brewhaaha (americanfreedombybarbara.com)
• These Victoria’s Secret Panties Have Parents Freaking Out (businessinsider.com)
• I DARE YOU Victoria’s Secret (sammiamme.wordpress.com)
• Mommy blogger sparks row after saying she would let daughter, nine, wear Victoria’s Secret (dailymail.co.uk)
• Should You Be Friends With Your Kids? (parenttangoblog.wordpress.com)