It is a common misconception that teachers working at a private Christian school make good money. But my pay is so low (I’m uncredentialled, first year teaching a foreign language I don’t even know…it’s not really their fault!) that I actually refer to my salary as a “love donation.” It’s pitiful, but even with the meager money handouts, I do love what I do. Regardless of the wholesome and mostly satisfying nature of my job, with many perks like knowing I’m working for the greater good, lots of hugs, getting to use a dry erase board, etc., sometimes you just need to get out of town, and it is very helpful when your loving mother pays for you. And very exciting in a naughty way when the destination is VEGAS.

Ah, Vegas. How can one resist the many priceless “Hangover” quotes? I don’t know, because I couldn’t, during my glorious weekend with you, oh Vegas. It’s kinda scary outside of your hotel during the daytime, what with the homeless and hookers and such, but I remind myself that Jesus hung out with the lepers and prostitutes, and He probably would have gone to Vegas, so I’m just doing my Christian duty. And there’s so much to genuinely love!

For example, one of the best things about Vegas is the sun. There is nothing like laying by the pool from 9am to 5pm every day. Setting an alarm on your cell to remind yourself to turn over, and ordering frozen pink drinks right from your lounge chair. And one thing I realized at the pool that I can always be grateful for, as much as I bitch and moan about having to shave bikini lines and armpits from hell and all these things, is that as a female, I never have to worry about back hair. That stuff is nasty.

Another one of the best things in Vegas is the unparalleled people watching. You have your dressed-to-kill just turned 21 year old hotties that rock stilettos to the pool, next to the midwestern fanny-pack rocking (without the irony) couple next to Japanese business men next to wannabe Jersey Shore candidates rocking the silver lined sunglasses inside at 11pm at night. And the old people with their mantendant making sure the IV pole and O2 tank is never far behind the cigarette and Coors Light.

I also really like playing “is she really going out with him?” and trying to guess the age difference between men and women. Or fake boob size. Always an entertaining game.

Vegas has the optimum schedule for a girl like me. I had my party days, and the feelings linger, the energy does not. With the whole teacher responsibility wake up at a reasonable hour thing built in, I don’t have the strength to gamble, dance all night, strike up a conversation with ridiculously good looking strangers, etc. However, I can reeeeeally enjoy myself on my Vegas schedule. It says to wake up at nine, hit the pool, set a timer to turn yourself over every hour, start ordering drinks at a reasonable hour (anything after noon), buy an overpriced panini with spinach leaves in it so I feel “healthy,” lay out until five, back to the hotel room to read trashy magazines, take a lazy shower, take a nap in the hotel bathrobe, start getting ready, hit dinner by 9pm, maybe drinks after, asleep by 1am.
Perfection.

There are some highlights…not to be revealed here…afterall, what happens in Vegas…I probably shouldn’t post on facebook. Suffice to say I had a great vacation with two of my most favorite people, and a brighter outlook on the Spring trimester that I did last Thursday.
Viva la!

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