Today’s Agenda and Menu:

  • Walk along the beach (settling for the pond at the park) at sunset, ipod playing love songs. (Check!)
  • Bubble bath with wine. (Next on list)
  • Learn three new love songs on guitar (Want To, Sugarland; Marry Me, Train; Free, Zac Brown Band) (Check!)
  • Eat an entire bag of conversation hearts, reading each message outloud to myself as a love note to me. Compose poem to Brian Wilson using hearts. (Check!)
  • Eat as much red and pink food as possible. (Spaghetti, red wine, red and pink M&Ms. Checkcheck)
  • Go to Safeway and flirt with my cashier crush. (Hot man angel wasn’t working today. Sad face. Tomorrow!)

For the single gal, Valentine’s Day can bring on a variety of emotions, soul-searching, cocktails, exboyfriend stalking on Facebook, chick-flicks, and girls nights in or out. There is usually a movie starring Meg Ryan or Sandra Bullock, buying yourself a bouquet of flowers, browsing an online dating service, and lots and lots of chocolate.

I’ve become quite an expert at this reaction to Vday. Sometimes I’m bitter, sometimes I’m sad. I’m never really happy about this day. I know its all made up and a conspiracy by Hallmark and See’s Candy to boost their empires. I know that real love is shown all year round, and not just on February 14th.

I know all this in my head, but sometimes in my heart, I can get lonely, and frustrated, waiting and wondering why its taking Brian Wilson so long to find me and fall in love. And I know I’m not the only girl out there who can feel this way. Check the headlines on all the girly magz or just google “single girls valentines day” and you’ll find multiple articles with tips on how to “survive” this day if you’re single, as if not being in a relationship on Valentine’s Day is akin to a death sentence. Bah.

But this year, I feel really different. Right now, I feel really different. I don’t know if its the eight million conversation hearts I’ve eaten today, the glass of wine, the beautiful sunset I watched go down as I listened to all kinds of groovy Marvin Gaye love songs and rehearsed the first conversation I will have with Brian Wilson when we meet and fall in love (facial expressions and everything).

Maybe its my awesome haircut. I don’t know what it is, but I am feeling super great. People holding hands in the park didn’t bother me, watching really romantic movies makes me miss kissing, but they don’t bother me. Because I think I want a good cuddle, but I truly love being single. I lovelovelove being single. When my mom was my age, I was almost nine years old. @#$@!!! I asked her the other night, and she said she wouldn’t change a thing. But I am my age, and I act almost nine years old like fifty percent of the time. I run around screaming, I play kid games, I tell dumb jokes, I eat outrageous amounts of junk food. On Friday night I puffy-painted picture frames, got in a paint fight, and roasted smores with a bunch of 13 year old girls and we giggled about who likes who at school and I almost peed my pants I was laughing so hard. Being young and single and a junior high teacher rocks.

I did the eharmony thing for a hot minute last year…the dates were fun, trying new places and getting free meals, getting messages from hot guys was fun, and that was about all I needed. I felt wanted and cute and interesting, and then I was like, “okay, that was totally worth $60 bucks, now back to real life.”

This year, I’m my own date. My candlelit dinner is tulips, red wine, conversation hearts, and google searches of Brian Wilson. And I’m really happy. Really, truly happy. I love love all by itself, I don’t need a boyfriend on the other end of it to make this holiday fun.

But just in case he googles himself and reads this, here is the conversation heart love letter I composed for future boyfriend Brian Wilson:

Hello Brian

Guess what? I am head over heels for you, sugar lips. You rock, bc you are funny, talented, and you heart Jesus. You are a heartthrob and too cool for school. I think I would be good for you. We would have only good times. Sometimes I think we might be soul mates. I know, you’re thinking “No way.” But I think you should give me a chance. Dare ya. Lol. Alright cupcake. Good bye. I

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