When every season of ABC’s “reality” show The Bachelor ends, I always swear to never watch it again. I usually feel disappointed, manipulated by producers, emotionally drained from the trainwrecks that are these women trying to fall in love in a completely unrealistic setting.

However, when every season of the show starts back up, I find myself getting sucked back in to the guilty pleasure. Two weeks in, and I’m hooked, ready to give reality love another chance, and glad to see Chris Harrison again!! Cutie.

Last season, Brad Womack got a second chance at love. Personally, I found his choice of Emily to be a little stale…and as any reader of US Weekly can tell you, they don’t seem to be able to make it work. Runner up number three was dental student Ashley. She came off a little bratty.  That really bugs me about these reality contestants. This isn’t the first season of the show, you’ve watched it before, you are fully cognizant of the process, the drama and the heartache you are signing up for. So stop crying about how “I just didn’t expect it to be this hard.” You get to be on TV and go on crazy awesome dates. Suck it up!

Ashley wouldn’t have been my first pick, due to the general poutiness, but she is now The Bachelorette, which is usually never as successful. I’m not sure why. Is it the demographics of the audience? As women, would we rather imagine ourselves as one of the contestants vying for Mr. Right’s attentions against other women we secretly think we are better than? Are we picturing ourselves accepting the one on one date, flying in a private jet to somewhere just for the day, the romantic candlelit dinners, the guaranteed hot tub makeout session?

I certainly enjoy the clothes and makeup more on The Bachelor, as there is more of it. The catfights are incredible, the tearful limo rides home inevitable. And I think as women, my girlfriends and I who watch it together are usually able to identify and sympathize somehow with every girl on the show. Their interactions are fascinating.

You would think that The Bachelorette would more appealing, as its definitely my fantasy to have 25 hot successful guys parade out of limos, stutter over my beauty, fight for my attention, and get my hair and makeup done and to go on fabulous out of this world dates (Its the second episode, and we’ve already rowed a boat to an island in the Bellagio lake for a private dinner and fountain show? What?!). The gentleman this season are definitely worth looking at…I’m loving Ryan P, William, who is a dead ringer for Josh Lucas (Sweet Home Alabama hottie) West with the tragic past, and Ben F. looks like Dax Shepard, which is awesome.

So now we have 25 gentleman down to 17 I think. Its completely different from the women. No one has cried or pulled anyone’s hair or thrown a shoe or gotten into the hot tub. BUT within the first forty minutes of the show, a guy who I had found pretty adorable with his New York accent and dimples, had been carried out to a car and sent home because he’d gotten so schwasted that he couldn’t hold a conversation with Ashley, and actually fell asleep snoring on a couch. Classy.

Things that are great so far in The Bachelorette:

  • I think it’s funny with the guy contestants admit that they are fans of the show and watched it with their families. “My mom really liked you!”
  • I always look at what the guy chooses to drink. I think your drink of choice says a lot about you. Never get drunk on tv. That is tasteless.
  • Some of them have really suave moves…I loved the toast coming out of the limo from the winemaker guy. The French was trying too hard, and no one should ever, EVER recite a poem or think that they can rap during the limo introductions.
  • I love the guys who take little fashion risks. Ryan P in the pink shirt? HOT.
  • Guys with gimmicks…the one who called his mom? Terrible move. Throwing a guitar in the pool? As a musician, I find it offensive. But the one who takes the cake is definitely “The Mask.” His whole angle is that he wants Ashley to get to know his “personality” before revealing his anticlimactic looks. If I were Ashley, I would think his “personality” was “creeper.” I really appreciate the dramatic lighting and Phantom of the Opera music they play whenever the cameras pan to him lurking over a railing somewhere.

Well I think I might make this a regular blog for each episode…comment back with your opinions on the contestants!! I’m also in the process of creating a board game to play during the show…love it. Stay tuned!

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