Ahhh…. Fiji….how romantic! I think maybe they choose all these remote locations just so paparazzi can’t be there to spoil our endings…I liked the recap of her relationships with each guy…I had forgotten about Constantine’s “string on the finger to remember me” gimmick, and how adorable JP and Ashley’s sweatpants date was. NOTE for future contestants…note only does journaling make you look very philosophical and hot, but its a great idea for the tell-all book later on that we’ll all pretend we don’t want to read.

pathetic bunny.

Other Note – DON’T ever come back! Oh Ryan, you sad puppy. It just never goes well and you look pathetic on national television. Like this fantastic blog I just stumbled upon…I’m wondering if ABC is setting him up to be the next Bachelor? I hope not. That season would be as nauseating as Jake’s.

does this turn you on? it shouldn't.

Ben’s date on Fiji went really well…sassy little suntan lotion makeout scene, who doesn’t enjoy that? I also want to give a shout-out to the cast of Finding Nemo for making an appearance on the snorkel tour. I don’t know what snorkeling is always featuring in these dating shows. Someone tell me what is romantic about a mask suctioned to your face and a bunch of slimy fish eating coral and pooping all around you. Has no one seen “Open Water?” This is how cute couples die. Terrible idea. But girls, at least on tv, always look beautiful on the beach. Something about salt water makes your hair and skin glow. I’m going to import some to Concord.

Constantine – total guy’s guy. I love that. He seems really genuine, and there is something so alluring and sexy about how  much he is holding back from Ashley. We want what we can’t have.

I felt bad for Ashley when Constantine checked himself out…she’s had three guys leave, sent home I think three before the rose ceremony, had one guy drunk and passed out the first night! This has not been a great crosscut of our American men.

what a triangle!

I fell asleep for the end of this episode….sorry JP. But I know you’re hot. And then there were two!!!

This is the episode in the season where “Overnight Dates” are an option. “If you choose to forgo your individual rooms….” oh, Chris Harrison, you can fancy talk it anyway you want, America wants to know if they end up sleeping together. Personally, I think this sends a terrible message to the many young people I know are watching this show. It doesn’t line up with my hopeful Christian views. I really respected Emily last season when she declined it because she knew that would send a really bad message to her daughter. But I like to imagine they stay up talking all night about all the things they couldn’t say with the cameras around, and maybe have a nice cuddle.

Next episode…FAMILY!! I can only imagine what that episode would look like in my real life…bringing home two hot guys to meet the hot mess that is my family tree. Yikes. Ashley is braaaave!

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