I teach a unique group of people known as junior highers. Faced with nearly insurmountable amounts of hormones that take over nearly all of their brain, spewing from their pituatary glands and leaking out their armpits, they are often unable to think through even the simplest of questions.
They drive me crazy. I love them. but they drive me batwhat crazy.
Today I had a conversation like this:
Boy: Miss Weight, are we doing anything in class today?”
Me: “No….I invented a pill you can swallow and you’ll know everything without learning. So we’re just gonna go outside and play.”
Boy: “haha that would be so awesome.”
Me: “Yes, of course we’re doing stuff. its only the second week of school! you can’t check out so soon.”
Boy: “Okay. do I need a pencil?”
Me: “Not if I make you write with your own blood.”
Boy: “Aw, Miss Weight!”
Boy proceeds to walk into room with just a pencil.
Me: “So…what are you going to write in with that pencil? What are you going to read from?”
Boy: “aw I forgot my notebook! aw my book’s in my locker! aw I’m gonna be late!”
I’m not kidding. That is our conversation. I have one like that at least one a day.
My other favorite is when they come back from being absent and ask “Did you guys do anything yesterday?”
And I’m like, “No, no we didn’t. We sat and held hands and sang Kumbaya just hoping you’d get better soon.”
But they have their redeeming moments….like the three homemade cookies and a brownie I got today and little love notes on my desk from 6th grade girls who said they like Latin class because I wear cute clothes and smile a lot.
I’m not only teaching school, but also doing school myself these days. My advisor came to observe me teaching and my kids thought it was hilarious that their teacher had a teacher. (“Does she ever give you detention Miss Weight? snicker snicker!”) I spend all day talking and thinking and typing and then come home and need to read and think and type. Its overwhelming.
I need an outlet, and my usual outlets are, in a painful twist of irony, usually reading and writing. So far (a mere two weeks in to both school and teaching) I haven’t been scared off of my blogging and reading too much. I find it is a wonderful relief to not have to MLA reference every thought I type out on here, and to lose my mind not in educational babble but in some
cheap romance usually about vampires and written for teens historical fiction or political magazine.
My other outlet is walking in my park and observing duck butts in the air at the pond. There are few things I find funnier in the animal world. The most awkward thing at the park is people watching their dogs try to gear up for a poop. Or when the dogs hump each other. That’s a fun few moments at the dog park with the other owner, who may turn out to be your puppy’s baby daddy’s human someday soon.
My other other outlet is going to GIANTS GAMES. And I’m going tomorrow to watch them BEAT LA. And hopefully see my boyfriend pitch before the season is over. I miss you, Brian. I love you like a fat kid loves cake. To psych myself up, I am currently wearing my “road trip” tank top I bought in Costa Rica one year and my “see you in the dugout” Giants undies…..which no one will see but me. Oh, and the internet.
in other news, whilst preparing my bed to get in it, I pulled back the sheets and found THE KNIFE I HAD SLEPT WITH SATURDAY NIGHT. Yeah I’ve been sleeping with a freaking machete for like five days.
miss w is a nutcase. over and out.