I have been psychologically tested by online surveys and surprise surprise…. I’m an extrovert!!!! From the Latin “extr-” meaning “out of” and “vert” meaning “to turn.” So I like to “turn it all about.” I am a human hokey-pokey. If you will.
I loves the people. Their sounds, their outfits, their laughter. Their applause. I loves their attention. But sometimes….I really really enjoy being alone. Right now I have my adorably tiny and messy house all to mySELF! This is fantastic for the following reasons:
10. I can be messy. YAY! I am normally really clean…when it comes to sharing space with other people. I get all kinds of peeved when others don’t help clean around the house. Certain things send me over the edge, like my roommate’s hairbrush left on the sink every morning. yicky. I don’t like other people’s dirty dishes/towels/clothes/breath in my area. But when they are all gone, I don’t mind spreading my own junk ev-er-ree-where.
9. Their food looks interesting. When roommates leave, I am a scrounger. I’m mostly looking, occasionally evening out the edges of a pizza or cake. Usually I just like to go through it all, and in the case of one roommate, throw away all the expired stuff in the fridge for her because she won’t do it and it stinks. And then I take a piece of cheese as payment. This was a really bad habit of mine in college that is now mostly conquered. Unless someone brings ice cream home and then all bets are off.
8. I control the climate. This is when I realize I am truly my Grandpa’s granddaughter. Are you hot? Take off your shirt. Cold? Put on a sweater. I hate paying for AC or heat when we can regulate our body temperatures ourselves in California simply by adding or removing clothing.
7. No one will judge my television or movie habits. Roommates exit house…Dr. Quinn DVDs enter the tv box machine. And country music videos and Disney films. My scope is pretty tame and limited and I like it.
6. Open Door Policy. Say you’re watching something awesome on tv, but then you need to poop. !!! No need to panic, keep the door open, turn so that you can see the reflection of the tv in the mirror. Don’t miss a beat.
5. Their clothes look interesting. This applied a lot more when my sisters and my mom were my roommates. And applies a lot more to my younger sisters doing it to me. But I understand. Humans love to snoop a wee bit.
4. I can talk on speakerphone. I find other people talking on speakerphone incredibly rude. I’ve had roommates who put their parents or friends on speakerphone, then walk around with the phone held up to their mouth, or lay down with the phone on their chest, and yell their conversation with this person, when it looks like you could just pick up that phone to your ear and I would never have to know the details of your mom’s colonoscopy. But when no one is home….GO FOR IT.
3. Farting. We all know that girls don’t have any body functions or odors. So…..This might be the only time I ever admit this…but I think farting is hilarious. Sometimes my sister S and I talk about it, or can share the moment together. My sisters and I joke that I always say my farts smell like roses. Do you ever surprise yourself with how loud one is? And it just makes you giggle? Good times. Only when alone, or in a safe place.
2. Nekkidness. There is so much power in being able to not get dressed to walk from my bedroom to get a cup of coffee, then blow dry my hair sans clothing, then back to my room.
1. I like my beats fast and my bass down low. I love being able to PUMP MA JAMS!!!! No judgement if I go from Garth Brooks to Lil Wayne to Celine Dion, if that’s what it takes for me to get through cleaning this house for y’all. I wants to be singing at the top o my lungs, dancing with my broom, to my praise and worship and my Tupac.
Can I get a little goose in my ojay?
Okay. So I am home alone, gathering the strength to study more science and math. My bass is down low. “Tangled” plays softly in the background for company and comedic relief. It is chilly because I have the windows open and a fan on so I can snuggle with a sweater. I am eating (my own) Cheezits, facing a huge pile of papers and unfolded laundry.
Because I am alone, and because I can.