one of my most favorite tweeters ever.

Fantasy island week in St. Croix? Sean can be shirtless 24 hours a day? Never saw it coming! Winky face….This week settles who gets to take Sean on hometown dates. The claws are OUT. And Miss Eyebrow Tierra moving her little pullout bed into a different room because she’s “not friends with girls who like my boyfriend” is the perfect dramatic start to this episode.

Ashlee (OCD professional organizer and a too uptight for me) and Sean take a trip to a private island, but they must swim to the boat from shore: cue shirtless Sean and a close of up AshLee’s seriously micromanaged body! At dinner, AshLee (really?! That spelling!) spends ten minutes giving us an anxiety attack before her big secret reveal – she married when she was a junior in high school to rebel against her parents. She’s now 32, so I think it’s safe to say that was a dumb teenage mistake, and we don’t have to be upset about it. Then she yells “I love Sean” to the heavens. Now that I find to be a deal-breaker.

Back at the house, our favorite Tierr-orist gets her first one-on-one card with Sean, and complains about the possibility of bugs and her makeup sweating off…you can practically feel the tension reaching a boiling point with the other girls.

Is anyone else surprised she’s still here??

But then! The BEST BACHELOR GROUP DATE EVER!!!!

LOVE the no makeup in the morning date. You can learn a lot about a girl by how she reacts to that. And you can tell a lot about a guy by how they react to girls with no makeup. AND their date was SICK!

  1. Be the first people in America to see the sunrise.
  2. Have mimosas with your girlfriends and a hot guy while you watch it.
  3. Take a road trip!!!
  4. In a Jeep!
  5. Meet a freaking PONY named PIPPIN!
  6. Swing in a legit jungle tree house.

Ahhhh I love it.

One on One with Lesley – I’m surprised when Sean says that he wasn’t really feeling things for Lesley. I thought they got along well. But she is guarded and awkward and Sean is is all about the PDA. She’s a sassbox. I didn’t like her at the beginning, but she’s grown on me.

Tierra and AshLee Catfight – Fav Quotes

“Men love me!” – Tierra – um.

LOVE that his sister had to fly in and give him a little sit down. And that her piece of advice was “don’t pick the girl that the other girls don’t like.” Aaaaaaamen.

“My parents told me; “Tierra, you have a sparkle! Do not let those girls take your sparkle away. People have judged me because of my eyebrow. I can’t control my eyebrow! I can’t control my face!””

“I have such a big heart but I’m so sensitive and I’m so scared. I’m gonna be honest with you because I always am…” – Tierra to Sean. As she sits “crying” (tearless cry…what is that about?!) about how “I hate being like this with you.” Which is weird, because she has spent every episode sobbing/hypothermic/falling up stairs/manipulating herself into a rose situation.

“I can’t believe they did this to me!” – Tierra, from the limo as it pulls away. Right. Because your own actions had *nothing* to do with it.

again...ben who!?
again…ben who!?

So we’re all breathing a little easier with Tierra gone. In order to keep the drama spicy, next week ABC producers apparently spike Des’ brother’s drink and he gets in a pissing contest with Sean.

Overall, I have to say I appreciate how Sean just takes the game into his own hands. Calling off cocktail parties, sending girls home whenever he wants, parading around shirtless at every possible moment…this guy is getting it done. The girls leave me embarrassed for women everywhere, but I love the clothes/hair/makeup and cringing at all the stupid, sappy, unreal things they say to Sean. I’m getting more and more excited for the After the Final Rose Ceremony! Will Tierra show? Will they hire extra security? Will her eyebrow finally be allowed to speak for itself?! Will her sparkle prove it’s existence?!

Stay tuned for next week’s hometown dates!

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