pinterest someecards
Disclaimer: I am not engaged, I am not fishing for a proposal from my boyfriend, I am not in a rush to get married. But. I am a girl. And we love weddings.

I am free-falling fallen into the abyss that is Pinterest. As described perfectly in many someecards, it is a place we can go to feel hope that if we just see enough pictures, we will get in shape, paint beautiful nails every day, bake perfect cupcakes, make homemade crafts at every occasion, and host terrific parties. As a teacher, I pinterest my heart out thinking “oh now my room will be organized! All my children regularly assessed and progress tracked with ease! Everything color coded! New vocab games daily!”

Of course, the reality of my life is that I never stick with a work out long enough to see any progress, I bite my nails, I eat so much cake batter I never end up with a dozen cupcakes, and my classroom management policy is more like “nobody died, everyone heard about Jesus…great day.”

wedding dressesIt is true that every little girl dreams of her wedding day…I can totally remember thinking about my wedding; dancing and making toasts and being the most beautiful girl in the room. While this is dangerous to admit out loud while in a serious relationship (I can already imagine my boyfriend’s palms beginning to sweat as he reads this), I recently (and sheepishly) began a “secret” Pinterest “Wedding” board. (Ah, you crafty social media people! How well you know me! I love secrets!)

And sometimes, late at night, after a happy hour or two, I find myself mindlessly scanning page after page, pinning, “liking,” watching the music videos people make of their weddings and crying over the happiness of strangers. (click here to lose HOURS OF YOUR LIFE TO LOVE.)

At first, I felt so inspired! Look at all these great ideas! How unique! How special and memorable my wedding will be!

gorgeous
gorgeous

But lately I’ve realized that these are all starting the look exactly the same. There’s almost like a formula for them.

  1. Select outdoor location with stringed white lights everywhere. Places with brick, barns, oceans, are preferred.
  2. Have some sort of new take on buffets – donuts, candy in glass jars, popcorn, ice cream sandwiches.
  3. Bridesmaids MUST be in cowgirl boots. Groomsmen should wear chucks.
  4. PHOTO BOOTH. MUSTACHES.
  5. Bride and Groom must write each other adorable letter to accompany expensive gift (jewelry for her, watch or “man cave” things for him). Letter to be read aloud with respective wedding party as you get ready.
  6. Write your own vows. Use words like “biggest cheerleader” “be a better man” “never knew I could love like this” “marry my best friend.”
  7. MASON JARS. Mason jars EVERYWHERE.
    boots
    everyone and the boots these days!

    favors
    adorbs. i’ll never drink it. too cute.
  8. Work in a fiddle, mandolin, or friends wearing hats and oversized glasses playing guitar.
  9. Have cool things on wooden or chalkboard signs, like “Grub,” “Whiskey Bar,” “Cigars,” “Games.”
  10. Employ as many precocious children as possible, preferably with flowers in their hair, or a sign that says “Here Comes the Bride” in their grubby little hands.
  11. Pass out favors so ridiculously adorable that no one will want to eat them.
  12. SPARKLERS OR ELSE IT WASN’T REAL.

Now, I love looking at all the pictures. Pinterest is like getting a new magazine in the mail every time I open up the internet. I can’t stop looking at all the pretty. But everything gets so cute and tiny and colorful and special and unique and personal….after a couple of hours none of it looks very special at all. But I do hope that all the Wedding DIY stuff and Etsy bits will help brides on a budget plan the day of their dreams.

And when that day comes for me…I think I’ll just look at Pinterest and select a few solid traditional ideas to mix in with just enough personal detail to be unique but not annoying, throw it in mason jars wrapped in burlap, and get hitched in happiness forever.

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