this needs to stop being me.
this needs to stop being me.

This has been my mantra the last 24 hours or so, as I try to give myself a pep talk about my impending trip to Europe. It’s the trip I’ve wanted for so long – Ireland and Spain! I have dreamt of you! But right now I am scared scared scared and so I am doing what any normal person does – working on the ultimate soothing plane ride playlist, not packing, and blogging my feelings in an effort to face them.

A few months ago, my sister and I experienced a plane “mishap” that thwarted our Spring Break plans to see our dad and brothers in Georgia. (Read about that here). I still cry thinking about it or talking about it, and to be honest, have been pretty mad that I have made myself afraid to fly. Then a few weeks ago, I watch in my rearview mirror as a truck slammed into a car that then slammed into me, so now I’ve let a fear of driving develop.

I realized I’d have to give up my middle name of “Danger” if I didn’t do something to punch fear in the face soon. So a month ago, I booked a flight to Ireland, where I will spend a week by myself exploring hill and dale and pub and fiddle. Then I will fly to London to frolic in front of national monuments with Ry, as we do when we travel, and cry over the majesty of the Rosetta Stone and Jane Austen’s all too short life. From there, we fly to Barcelona for a few days in El Born, gothic cathedrals, all night champagne bars, tapas, and cobblestone streets surrounding our sweet BnB place.

A modern stereotypical depiction of a leprecha...

And I’ve been trying to build myself up for this great adventure – but with the plane crash yesterday….suddenly going anywhere by air seems like a bad idea. So I keep trying to say “You are brave. You can fly. You are going to Ireland.”

I imagine wandering through old monasteries, marveling at Stonehenge again, practicing my Spanish. I can’t let myself freak out. I hate being afraid of things. I want to try new things. I think to travel alone is going to really push me out of my comfort zone, and I hope everything’s as fun as I am willing it to be.

Anyway, I’ll be blogging the adventure here! Follow along with me. Encourage me to get on the dang plane. Pray it all goes well. I look forward to sharing my new friends and new favorite places with you. :)

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