My google history always reveals the embarrassing and the embarrassing. In the days leading up to my first job interview in five years, the queries were getting a wee bit ridiculous.

Hair up or down for an interview?

Whats the most effective perfume in an interview?

How should I introduce myself?

Whats the best way to shake hands?

What do your earrings say about you in an interview?

Should I take a drink if they offer one during an interview?

What are the best interview pump up songs?

Can you OD on Listerine?

What do I ask at the end of the interview? How do I know if I got it?

Lip gloss, lipstick, nothing?

And I worried the heck out of life. I thought of every worst possible scenario. I realized there is not enough prescription deodorant in the world to help me when I’m nervous. They need to invent an all-over body lotion version of prescription lotion deodorant. But I still think I could defeat it.

Then the morning of the inquisition came. And I panicked panicked panicked. There was nothing and everything riding on this. Big morning.

I bought a discount printer at Target. It wouldn’t connect to my computer. I had to sneak into my roommate’s room, download and install software, troubleshoot her issues, and finally print another copy of my resume. I spilled coffee all over my first outfit. I changed outfits. I curled my hair for the first time in ten months, and realized it was long as all get up.

I smeared mascara on my face. I got into the car and had a booger. I wanted to cry.

What do I do if I have to pee in the middle of the interview? I’m the kind of person who will go pee, walk out of the bathroom, and immediately have to go back in. Because even my pee is nervous and holding back.

I’m also one of those people who has to nervous poo before anything. And I was about to leave and drive the 30 minutes until the office, painfully aware that something I needed to happen had not in fact happened.

And then it did. :)

I interviewed, it was over in less time than it took to drive there. And I left with almost less understanding about what the job entailed than when I had arrived.

Hmm.

Tonight I made rosemary chicken for my boyfriend. I keep trying to know how to cook. It turned out well, though. When I asked what we should do, without knowing the desires of my heart, he said “what do you think of a Harry Potter marathon?” and, having silently wanted that for the last two months, I almost fainted into a puddle of happy.

Maybe I won’t get this job. That’s okay. I just want to write and be in school and travel and help other people.

I will always do at least a few of those things. I am also attempting pumpkin bread and whipped cream tonight. Life is full of little, good, fun things.

Advertisements