just a few more sleeps and I can stop photoshopping myself into family BBQs
just a few more sleeps and I can stop photoshopping myself into family BBQs

So I went on a walk, and this squirrel was screaming at me in squirrel talk from this tree (I am terrified of squirrels), and that’s when I decided I was going on a road trip. I’m going to Georgia, Kentucky, hopefully touching the state of Ohio and possibly Indiana within the next week. Just as a nice warmup for driving back across the country in a mere 25 sleeps!

I love going on road trips. I am terrible at packing for them. I’m actually notoriously unprepared for most things that involve preparation. Example: I went on a hike yesterday, and I got to the spot, was sitting in my car, looking at my phone, when someone slammed a car door next to me. I was so startled that I got out of my car with only my phone and my keys, and proceeded to wander through the snowy woods for about two hours, getting royally lost, with no map or water, and casually wondering if bears still hibernate.

"is that a bear print?" "is that a bear print?" me, to everything.
“is that a bear print?” “is that a bear print?” me, to everything.

The snows are all melty, so sometimes I had to ford small creeks and I would think I was stepping on piles of leaves, but it would actually be a puddle. The water was REALLY high in some places, with slippery bridges, and I was trying to remember the plot of “Bridge to Terabithia.”  I was freezing, because I had forgotten to grab my scarf and mittens because of the startling (I am easily startled). I had to pee like CRAZY, and was certain I was going to die out there, when lo and behold, a beacon of hope rose out of the ground – a pit toilet. I opened it in relief, and the seat was covered in poop. So I had to climb up on it and squat toilet style. But I felt much more hopeful about my survival.

I eventually found the trail I’d been looking for, and made it back to civilization. Just FYI.

Okay so back to packing. I’m a really good traveler, in that I’m fun to be with, will do anything, can fall asleep anywhere, and will take good pictures. But packing?

Packing is not my thing.

This is pretty much how I do it:

  • decide to go somewhere
  • begin vague list in head of things to pack
  • pick out my scarves for the trip
  • realize i need to do laundry
  • grab a glass of wine while waiting for laundry to finish
  • “I’ll just check Facebook real quick”
  • “I’ll just check tumblr real quick”
  • roll over in bed on top of suitcase
  • “I need to pack!”
  • find the chargers to items and begin charging
  • “better check the weather report”
  • “ooh! a notification!”
  • moves clothes to dryer
  • “I need to pack.”
  • found this guy. Inside: mascara, lip gloss, bandaid, ponytail, hair clip, and lots of pine needles. ?!
    found this guy. Inside: mascara, lip gloss, bandaid, ponytail, hair clip, and lots of pine needles. ?!

    Finds thing I didn’t know I was missing, proceeds to think about thing for a long time, texting friend about discovery of thing, wondering how I could have ever misplaced it.

  • Finds old favorite shirt and hugs it.
  • Finds old pair of jeans
  • tries on jeans to see if they fit. they don’t.
  • grabs second glass of wine for comfort.
  • “I need to make a playlist.”
  • “I need snacks for my trip!”
  • “I better eat all this food in the fridge or it will go bad while I’m gone.”
  •  “I could write a blog about how bad I am at packing”
  • “I need to pack.”
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