remember the wise words of your cooz.
remember the wise words of your cooz.

Dear Self,

You are moving! In just a few sleeps! You need to pack! Downloading the next book in the series you are reading was not a good idea. Deciding to aggressively watch a bunch of Netflix before someone changes the password and you’re cut off was also not a good idea. Thinking now was the best time to figure out how many songs you have with the words “home,” “California,” “road,” and “America” in them to make an epic playlist was a BAD IDEA. Blogging about your shortcomings right now is also probably not a good idea. And you should know this, as this is the second time in seven months you’ve had to pack your life into a Corolla and drive across the ginormous God Bless-ed America.

But lets look at some of the things you’ve found during this magical packing process:

  • your favorite tshirt AND favorite fanny pack

    greatest shirt of all time. and me fav fanny pack.
    greatest shirt of all time. and me fav fanny pack.
  • every ponytail ever that you thought you’d never see again
  • the chargers to a thousand items, all nicely organized in the box you packed them in when you left California in August, which you haven’t seen since.
  • a lot of magnets. apparently you like magnets? discuss.
  • your fast-track pass! YAY YAREA!!!!
  • you miiiiight be addicted to scarves. lets work on that.
  • you’ve never buying a hat again. you never wear hats. stop this immediately.

It’s been a bit of a treasure hunt, hasn’t it? You get so excited with each step you take to get closer to home, closer to the next part of your journey.

I know it’s been hard for you here, too. Besides all the random treasures and artifacts you found while packing, there were some painful or awkward reminders of this chapter in your life.

post it notes with ideas for a novel you thought you might write with all your free time.
lyrics from half a song when you thought you’d try that, maybe that would help.
rough drafts for grad school applications and fellowships, when you thought that might be a good idea.
unfinished devotionals.
pictures of the two of you together, his handwriting.

pinterest is stoopid.
pinterest is stoopid.

the sad, shriveled orange slices from your attempt at homemade christmas decorations.
cards of encouragement from friends, family that fill a shoebox you would go through when you were so lonely.

But, you know what? It’s okay. It’s totally okay. You can throw this all away. You can keep what might be nice to have later. But you get to physically move away from the pain, too. What a nice sense of closure that will bring – to leave these four walls you’ve spent so much time feeling trapped behind and chase all the sunsets home.

And when you’re home, you get to eat Mexican food everyday for a month if you want. You can find a hug everywhere you go. You can bug your sisters and get your mom to take you out to lunch. You’ll walk familiar trails, reconnect with your church peeps, and be there for opening day of baseball season.

And remember the things that have been good. For there is always a lot of good, even if you have to make yourself look for it. There are lessons that have been learned, so many ways that you have been stretched and challenged – ways you might not even know yet.

Now – PACK!

Love yourself.

Love, Yourself.

and whenever you get sad, remember this...
and whenever you get sad, remember this…
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